(12:28) I had promised myself that I’m not gonna let anything upset me anymore, but things always go one step beyond my imagination. 2 nights ago the air conditioner turned the whole dorm into hell. I had to sleep with my underwear but even that wasn’t cool enough to fall asleep. And last night someone turned his radio on at around 2AM. And again it was only me who woke up at that loud noise. I’m not even counting the snores or the person next to me coughs on my face in his sleep. All I know is I don’t feel pity for some of the long-term-non-university-graduate soldiers anymore. More you keep them inside the barrack, the better. I can’t believe I have to try to sleep in that dorm for 8 more times until I finish the recruit training to be transfered to somewhere else.
I don’t remember at which interval, but I managed to have a dream too. I was looking out of a closed window of a small house. A 30 cm tall bullfrog came to the glass and started singing & dancing just outside the window. All of a sudden, someone took it down and started gutting it alive with a large knife.
But you’d be wrong if you think I’m about to break down or quit fighting or hoping. In fact, I wanna add something to what I wrote previously about committing suicide. There used to be times I thought I completely screwed up, that I’m not gonna make it through the day, like a very important exam when I see the test paper and I know none of the answers. At times like these, I remember what the chess tutor of “Chessmaster” game, Josh Waitzkin told. “DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE”. Do what has to be done. No matter how screwed up you are, do what has to be done. That’s one of the very important rules to always keep in mind. You know none of the answers? Write the smallest bit you know, and also write what you don’t know. You’re imprisoned in an army training camp for 4.5 months and you know you’re not gonna get any sleep at night? Sit down and write a letter to your friends.